Update: 02/03/22:
After many times of asking, literally begging, my ex-husband as to what is going on regarding our finances, I finally found out last Sunday (01/30/22) that not only did he withdraw the huge amounts of money from our joint bank accounts since the beginning of November 2021, but he also took out a huge loan in the past few months. He gave all that money to a woman!!!
When we got married 13.5 years ago, his credit was so poor, he could not even get a credit card approved. Even though he was making good money, but he never paid off his credit card debts. Due to that, 4-digit debts became 5-digits, thanks to compound interest and time. That’s how he is in life; hiding his head in the sand, until he goes through a manic phase, and then all of a sudden:
a. either get himself into another DUI, so that he will now have to pay lots of money each month to the state, for his DUI classes, and for his expensive car insurance rate
b. take up loan on money that he does not have, and give all that away, just like that, to a woman!
c. buy expensive, useless gadgets
I told him last Sunday that I went through 13.5 years of helping him with his issues: drinking addiction, DUI’s, cheating on me, debts, poor credit score, brain tumor (which was later found to be a congenital anomaly), without getting much money left in the proposed divorce settlement, especially compared to how much he gave to that woman in just less than 3 months! And here is this stranger that he interacted with since November 2021, that he ends up throwing all his money away, even money that he doesn’t have, without her having to ever lift a finger for him!!!!!!
I should have never sacrificed my own credit score (by opening multiple credit cards and adding him as an additional card holder) to make his credit score become excellent (and mine not as good since my credit score gets lowered each time my credit gets run, in order to apply for a credit card, or to start a utility service under my name, etc.). If I just left him with his poor credit score, where he could not even get approved for a credit card, then he would not have been able to get approved for a loan, especially for this huge amount!
I’ve realized that I have been enabling him all these years. He never had to suffer from the long term consequences for his actions (DUI’s, alcohol addiction, not paying off his debts, etc.) and I basically sacrificed my own health and well-being for nothing for the past 13.5 years, since he is still drinking and driving, and now have this huge loan debt!
What a joke! The joke is on me! You can not save someone that does not want to be saved! This is the biggest and most painful lesson I have learned in my life!
Update: 01/27/22 – Both of my Covid and Flu nasal swabs came back negative. Woohoo! π€
Life Is Beautiful!!! π
01/26/22
I’ve been going through a tough two months since the beginning of December 2021.
First, my soon to be ex-husband’s car got totaled on December 4th, 2021. Right afterwards, I found 1 can of empty beer and 3 cans of unopened beers inside his backpack that he brought back from the accident. Then he told me that had been drinking again since a year ago, and then he asked me for a divorce.
A few days later, I found out that he had been secretly withdrawing huge amounts of money from our bank accounts since the beginning of November, and even a few days after he said that he wanted a divorce.
Not soon thereafter, I went for my lipoma surgery on December 22nd, and was in a lot of pain and discomfort especially after the first two weeks. Then, I was in extreme stomach pain, passed out and vomited on January 13th, 2022. Thank goodness, it happened while I was inside my ex’s room with him helping me to apply the pressure bandage onto my lipoma surgical site. He doesn’t ever check up on me (he spends his spare time either getting drunk, or getting over his hangover), so if it happened at any other time, then I would have chocked on my own vomit and died. My ex would have probably eventually walked into my room 3 days later when he smelled my decomposing body.
On January 15th, in the evening, my EMDR therapist (that I last saw on January 12th), called to tell me that she tested positive for Covid, and started having symptoms on January 13th. So, I was definitely in close contact with her during her infectious period.
I went for my MRI/MRA brain and cervical scans on January 24th and saw the report yesterday from my MRI brain scan that I have white spots in my brain, which may indicate that I have had a stroke, have MS, have Lyme disease, or have a brain tumor, etc. I also had a MRI brain scan done 3 years ago after my concussion (slipped and fell on ice) but did not have white spots in the brain show up back then. So, something definitely happened to me in the past 3 years.
When I went into my ex’s bedroom last night to help me apply the pressure bandage to my lipoma surgical site, I found that he hid a bottle of hard liquor in his room. Once again, I’ve asked him to please consider getting counseling for his addiction.
I woke up this morning feeling extremely fatigued. I plan on getting tested for Covid this afternoon with my primary doctor. I have auto-immune issues, so I’m hoping that if I test positive, then he will be willing to prescribe to me Covid anti-viral medications.
I just can’t seem to catch a break. It’s been one shitty thing after another since the beginning of December last year. I’ve been trying to stay positive all this time but it’s starting to wear down on me now.
I just saw this video now of this brave sweet puppy, Cora Rose. She is my inspiration that even in the worst of times, you can still be the happiest person alive. The key is to be grateful for what you have in life. I will continue to watch inspirational videos and continue to practice my daily gratitude practice.