I AM Still Hurting! My Heart is Still Breaking! I did not think it would hurt this bad!
It has just been one betrayal after another! I just found out last Sunday (01/30/22) that my ex-husband not only stole money from our joint bank accounts, but he took up a huge loan and gave a 6-digit amount of money to a woman!!!!!
This sense of betrayal hurts so bad!!! I restored his poor credit score at the expense of mine to become excellent, and that was the only reason he was able to get a loan approved for such a large amount! I feel like a Fool! an Idiot! a Moron! What was I thinking?!!!
He has constantly lied to me, cheated on me and betrayed me for the past 13.5 years. Yet, I still forgave him, believed in him, loved him, cared for him, even up to this day. How can I be So Foolish!!!!!
We were no longer in love with each other since a long time ago, but I’ll always love him as a family member. But what he has done is an act of Ultimate Betrayal! I have been asking so many times for the past 2 months as to what loan he was applying for, and for what? But he was adamant to take that secret with him to his grave.
It was only until his mission was completed, by giving the entire amount to that woman, and by me threatening to speak with his boss, before he finally told me about it last Sunday. I have realized what a sick personality he has. There was no way to stop him from completing his mission. Once his mind is set on something, good or bad, he will get it done, one way or another. I still don’t even know if he was telling me the truth about where the money went. His story seems so unbelievable! Only an imbecile, and someone who was actively having a psychotic episode would do what he said he has done.
Even people who get scammed gets scammed that large amount of money after at least a year of being fooled. He got scammed in less than three months????? And what about the “Promise Ring Princess-Cut Diamond” that he was doing a Google search for not long ago? A few days later, he did a Google search for “Engagement Ring”. What was that all about?????? He is a Pathological liar! All I know for a fact is that all that money is gone! As to where it has gone to, I still do not know for a fact!
He just recently texted me, “You are irrelevant to me”. This is truly how he feels about me. He does not give a shit about me or how I feel. It has always been about him, and it always will.
He has no gratitude whatsoever for all that I have done for him for the past 13.5 years. All the sacrifices I’ve made for him, so that he is this high-earning medical device engineer that has been able to keep a good reputation in his field; despite being an alcoholic, who drinks and drives, cheats on his wife, and can not even get a credit card approved, because he does not take responsibility for anything outside of his work.
His debt collectors started contacting me after we got married, because he never answers the phone to them. I settled his debts! What did he tell me last Sunday? He said that he gave all that money away for a good purpose, now his life has a purpose, to pay off his loan. What an idiot!!!!! Why did I ever settle his debt on his behalf????? Obviously, his life needs to be in constant turmoil in order for him to feel alive! Why didn’t I just let him keep his lousy debts and poor credit score, so that he can never get another credit card or loan approved?????!!!!!! WHY?????!!!!!!!!
Not long after I moved in with him, our electricity got cut off one day due to his non-payment. I frantically called him to tell him that. He told me not to worry, that it has happened before!!!! It has happened before???!!!! I should have known back then what kind of irresponsible jerk I am dealing with!
After we started dating, he told me that I made him want to become a better person. Yeah, right! Of course! I settled his debts, got his credit score to excellent, drove him around like his chauffeur (when his driver’s license got revoked twice after we were together!) while being yelled at for having no sense of direction, took care of his health issues, and was treated only as his executive assistant and housekeeper. And all this for what? For him to screw me over again, and again, and again for the past 13.5 years!!!
He is Jekyll and Hyde. You’ll want to have him as your employee or independent contractor. But you WILL NOT want to have him in your personal life. He will destroy your sense of dignity, self-worth, and he will destroy your health and well-being. He will make you feel like you are insignificant, and not even worth existing on this earth!
This is the act of Ultimate Betrayal! To have total disregard for my future and my financial future, whatsoever! I don’t know how many coupons I’ve clipped throughout the past 13.5 years, just to save us a dollar here and there. Yet, this inconsiderate, cruel, cold-hearted moron threw away all that money in an instant, as if it was trash. Just like that! To a stranger that he claims he just met in November last year! He has betrayed me in every single way possible. He made sure of that!!!
This hurts so bad! My heart hurts so bad! This hurts so bad!!! π
π OVER YOU!!! π
~ Daughtry
Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up then tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me
Well, I never saw it coming
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
And now I’m picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes, so I could see
That you never were the best for me
Well, I never saw it coming
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
And now I’m picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you
Well, I never saw it coming
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
Well, I never saw it coming
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
And now I’m picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
(Whoa-whoa-whoa)
Well, now I’m putting my heart back together
(Whoa-whoa-whoa)
‘Cause I got over you
(Whoa-whoa-whoa)
I got over you
And I got over you
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you