I believe it was destined for this player to come into my life. I must have made a soul contract with him in our past lives for him to come into my life and put me through the “Dark Night of the Soul” for a very, very long time. There was no escaping fate…
At that point, I had already been seeing my health care practitioner every week for months. One day, she told me that she’s moving with her boyfriend to Las Vegas, and that she’ll actually get paid more over there. This player, who just recently acquired his Minnesota license, was her replacement.
When we first arrived in Minnesota, we rented a single-family townhome in Maple Grove, and the company that my husband used to work for was also based in Maple Grove. So, we basically consider Maple Grove to be our home in Minnesota. Almost all of my activities, and all of the doctors I see are in Maple Grove. I only found out much later on that there’s actually a clinic branch that’s closer to my current townhome now.
He was inexperienced and had actually given me some pretty bad (especially neck) adjustments to the point where I dissociated, due to pain. He got better as time went on, thank goodness, and I continued to see him weekly for adjustments, but then Covid struck. I mentioned to him that I’m worried about Covid and asked what he thought about people wearing masks? He didn’t seem much concerned about it, so I made the decision to stop going for weekly treatments and to only go if it’s absolutely necessary. I also contacted the regional sales director to let her know about my concerns regarding Covid, and asked whether the healthcare practitioners would consider wearing a mask when treating patients, especially since I still plan on going for adjustments on an as needed basis?
About six weeks later, I woke up one morning with extreme pain on my right rib. I went in to see him right away for an adjustment, and felt better afterwards. Thank goodness he was wearing a mask! I also felt that it was probably in my best interest to start having weekly adjustments again. Thus, fate brought us back together again.
Then came the issues with my husband’s third-shift job, and we decided to move back to California right after the Labor Day weekend. However, I guess Divine Source felt that I still haven’t learned the lessons that I’m supposed to learn (i.e. to love myself, to stand up for myself, and to take care of my own health and my own needs), so it was by miracle that at the very last moment, a high paying client approached my husband for business and we decided to continue to stay in Minnesota.
At this point, this player had already been messing with my mind with his seduction techniques, leading me on, making me dissociate, showing extreme interest in me, exhibiting jealousy behaviors, hurting me, treating me, and the sadistic cycle just went on and on, until I finally forced the truth out of him last Thursday (September 16, 2021), and found out that he had started to date someone else since the Spring / Summer of this year.
I guess he realized from his early bad adjustments causing me pain, that pain or too forceful of adjustments will cause me to dissociate, thus he knew exactly how to make me dissociate. I have been having chiropractic adjustments for a very long time and have experienced adjustments by many many chiropractors in my life. Never once have any of them caused me to dissociate, even when they performed a poor adjustment and caused me pain. That’s also why I wonder if it was fate that sent this Devil into my life?
And then recently, I started dissociating when my PT pressed too hard when doing myofascial release treatments on me. I wonder if all of the dissociation that manho had been causing me since last year has made my body weak now? I dissociated for a few years (especially when becoming intimate) after my ex raped me. However, it stopped completely afterwards. I have not dissociated (maybe occasional daydreaming sometimes, but definitely not to such a serious degree to where my mind ends up leaving my body for a while) for at least 14 years now. That is why I even forgot that I was diagnosed with untreated PTSD after my concussion back in January 2019 and only remembered it after I started to dissociate when getting treated by manho. I need to be very careful of my state of mind and my health now, and make sure that I don’t dissociate again with anyone, or at any place.
Same scenario with my PT. After manho ordered me to go and see a doctor for the numbness & tingling down my right arm, I made an appointment to see an orthopedic surgeon. I also made an appointment to see my previous PT. Turns out that she was on maternity leave, so I ended up seeing my current PT in the meantime. Then my current PT informed me not long thereafter that my previous PT has applied to be transferred to a different clinic location, so he became my permanent PT instead. My current PT is good though, and I like his treatment style & personality.
But it’s almost like the same scenario all over again with manho replacing my previous chiropractor who left for Las Vegas. And then I started dissociating at times when my PT pressed too forcefully with his myofascial release treatments. And they’re both of the exact same age and similar educational background as well! It’s almost as if the Universe is testing me again to make sure that I have truly learned my lesson?
Difference though, is that my current PT is very honest and straight forward with me. He has his wedding ring on, and told me on our first appointment that he’s married, and has a kid and a dog. He also asked me if I had any kids or pets, and I said “No” to both. He didn’t ask me if I was married, but I decided to tell him later on that I am married, because I want to have an honest friendship with him. I enjoy seeing him for my treatments and we’re also able to have good conversations, just like friends. I also told him just recently about my untreated PTSD with dissociation, especially when I’m in pain, and we both make sure that he doesn’t press too hard with his myofascial release treatments so that I don’t end up dissociating again.
Every cloud has a silver lining. I believe that Divine Source sent this Devil (manho) into my life to force me to re-examine my beliefs, and to learn to love myself. I don’t think I have ever been played this badly, and for such a long time in my life! I am slowly, but painfully, learning my lessons now.
This player also has a lot of lessons that he needs to learn in his own life; that his reckless and hurtful actions will have consequences, and whatever harm he has done to others, will come back to him in threefold.
I dedicate this song to this player and his newfound love, and to all of the relationships that he will ever have in his life.
Manho, I dedicate this song to you with all of my heart. It is called “I Hope”, by Gabby Barrett. I Hope you get what you deserve in life!
I Hope
~ Gabby Barrett
I, I hope she makes you smile
The way it made me smile
On the other end of a phone
In the middle of a highway driving alone
Oh baby I
I hope you hear a song
That makes you sing along and gets you thinking ’bout her
Then the last several miles turns into a blur, yeah
I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
I hope you never ever felt more free
Tell your friends that you’re so happy
I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
Yeah babe, I hope she
Shows up in a 2AM pic from her friend
Hanging on to a guy, and you just ain’t him
I hope you stay up all night all alone waiting by the phone
And then she calls
And baby I
I hope you work it out
Forgive and just about forget
And take her on a first date again
And when you lean in for a kiss
I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
I hope you never ever felt more free
Tell your friends that you’re so happy
I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
I hope it goes, comes all the way around
I hope she makes you feel the same way
About her that I feel about you right now
I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
I hope you never ever felt more free
Tell your friends that you’re so happy
I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
Like you did on me