I keep on saying that I want to start my own online business but I’m still stuck on step 1. There’s two reasons for this: 1. Life keeps getting in the way, and 2. I’m not sure how to start?
So how does life keep getting in the way? Well, for one, besides working and buying water softener salt pellets every 2 weeks (because it’s too heavy for me to carry), hubby doesn’t have to do anything else. I take care of everything; from cleaning the townhouse, to scheduling our appointments, to paying bills, to recording his daily business-related mileage & expenses (for tax deduction purposes), and to paying his quarterly self-employed estimated taxes, etc. etc. And, our townhouse ain’t small; we have 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, so there’s quite some cleaning that needs to be done regularly.
And that’s just a broad overview of what I do. Finer details include: making his bed every day, squeezing his toothpaste for him day & night, cleaning the bathroom after he’s done showering (he does clean a little after he’s done, but not all), and of course, washing his clothes, etc.. Okay, to be fair to him, there are two other things that he does on his own: iron his dress shirts & dress pants, and eating at work. Yes, he does actually put the food into his mouth and chew the food on his own…
Why squeeze his toothpaste for him? Because, instead of the dentist-recommended pea-sized toothpaste, he squeezes more like a kidney bean-sized, and he squeezes it smack dab in the middle. He leaves toothpaste all over the sink and doesn’t wash off the remaining toothpaste on his toothbrush properly. I also have to re-squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom after he’s finished using it every time, and it’s difficult especially when the toothpaste’s shell is hard. I had switched to one with a soft shell in the past, but eventually decided that it’s easier for me to just do it for him instead.
I’ve read stories of couples divorcing because of incompatible ways of living, and the last straw that broke the camel’s back was someone squeezing the toothpaste in the middle. Seriously, it drives me crazy, and this is just one of the few things my husband does that drives me crazy. So, being the kind of conflict-avoidant (although my husband may beg to differ, because if I ever say anything to him that does not sound like a praise, then he thinks that I’m trying to pick a fight with him) person that I am, I just end up doing everything myself so that we won’t get into an argument. I’ve found throughout the years that if I just do it for him, then it saves time for me to clean up the mess after he’s done it himself. But the problem is that I end up doing everything on my own now.
My husband is also the type of person where if I ask him to please go North, then he will intentionally go South. In fact, sometimes, just to get him to do what I want him to do, I’ll ask him to please do the opposite. π But all jokes aside, sometimes, he really drives me nuts to the point where I just want to bang my head against the wall and pass out, so that I no longer have to deal with it for the time being…
There is a saying that, “It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s difficult to live together”. That is so true! A main reason that my ex and I got along well was because we were both neat freaks and germaphobes. In fact, I didn’t know that I was neat freak and a germaphobe until I met my husband, because not only is he not one, but he gets mad at me and tells me that I’m being OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) about it.
We actually used to go out and eat lunch together every weekend, but since March of 2020, when the governor shut down all the businesses (I’m glad that he had the courage to do so, in order to save lives), we’ve stopped eating out. We also used to do grocery shopping together every weekend, but ever since my husband started his third-shift job, he said that he’s too tired, and no longer wanted to do it. Those two activities were the only ones that we did together, and after we stopped doing both, there were no longer anything to connect us together.
We also used to go to museums, parks, movies, etc., but they all stopped after my husband started his third-shift job. He no longer has to work third-shift (except on rare occasions, such as this week), but, I guess he just got used to staying at work for the entire day, except to come home and sleep.
This is why my brain is so fricking scattered. I need to take care of everything. Oh, and I forgot to mention that my husband used to pour the water softener salt pellets into the machine, but a couple of months ago, he got really “smart”, and brought home a kitty litter scoop for me. So, guess who has been scooping the water softener salt pellets bit by bit into the water softener machine since then?
My husband has not gotten a haircut since the beginning of last year due to Covid, and still refuses to do so. I have to use the lint remover all the time to pick up his hair that’s all over the place. I wish he would just shave his head and save us all the trouble. I grew up watching my handsome dad, who used to be in the army, with a military haircut and a clean-shaven face all the time. That, to me, is attractive & handsome. I’m really not used to seeing men with long hair. Thank goodness my husband at least still keeps a clean-shaven face.
I drove my husband’s car to run errands yesterday afternoon since he came home early to sleep, in order to get some rest before his third-shift job last night. His car was like a warzone. There were chips and soda stains everywhere! I filled up his tank and cleaned his car for him. I’ll be driving his car this week because he’s working the third-shift job this week and I don’t want to keep on having to move his car in order to get my car out of our garage. I’m not looking forward to it. I wonder what his car will look like today? π€
There are just so many little things that one needs to take care of in life. It pulls my mind in all directions. I also still have to take care of things in Taiwan and South Africa. I think my job title should be an “Executive Assistant”, and the “Maid”, sigh….. I’m also trying to take care of my own health, which takes up a lot of time each day.
Okay, enough venting for now. I seriously don’t know where to start with my online business. I think I have the “Shiny Object Syndrome”, to keep on learning of new ideas, and keep on jumping from one idea to another. Dad used to say that, “the rolling stone gathers no moss”. I gotta really find one idea that works, and stick with it.
One day, you’re gonna hear me roar! But, until then…
Roar!
~ Katy Perry
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Now I’m floatin’ like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you’ll hear me roar)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
You’re gonna hear me roarRoar, roar, roar, roar, roar
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (yeah)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (you’ll hear me roar)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
You’re gonna hear me roar